Both times I was induced. Despite some other panics I’ve had, I’m actually OK with this, because it meant I get to end pregnancy and start motherhood.
Nevertheless, people (in their lovely, helpful way) decided to bring out the horror stories about induction, which has perturbed my calm over the process/ excitement over the end a bit. Also, my doctor said that sometimes it can be a lengthy process, and a) I could be in hospital for a week and b) I might have to have a c-section. Given these less than optimal conditions, and the fact that I might be a bit stressed out when this little one needs actual care outside the womb, I thought I should write a list of things I will not miss about pregnancy, just to remind myself that whatever the process, this is all worth it, dammit. Continue reading “What I will not miss”
I’m not very good at going with the flow.
It’s not that I don’t like the idea of going with the flow. When I was a kid, I really liked that song ‘Que Sera, Sera’. And who doesn’t love a bit of Enya to zone out to? I dare you to listen to this and not feel relaxed: It’s like a musical spa day. I also love spa days.
The point is, I know how to unwind and bliss out, but I can’t *stay* that way. I always start stressing again if I don’t have closure or don’t know the answer. One of my childhood friends is on Facebook touting the virtues of following your bliss after (from what I can put together from her posts) giving up her career as a lawyer to become a yoga instructor/ life coach. Part of me wants to roll my eyes at this, but it’s hard when she seems so honestly happy and chilled about life. Continue reading “Following the flow”
Friend is kind of a thorny word for me, because I lack so much confidence. I’m not naturally confident anyway, most especially in social situations, and of course as a preteen I suffered some hard knocks as the unpopular kid. Being the unpopular kid in a small school (my 6th grade class had 13 kids in it) is particuarly hard because it’s not like there are other outcasts you can hang out with.
I remedied this by going to a high school where I was no exceptional nerd–in fact I graduated dead middle of my class and was revered by it. Of course THHS had its spectrum of cliques and social groups. There were definitely ‘cool’ kids and ‘popular’ kids. I don’t know how these kids would have fared in your standard 3,000 kid NYC public high school, but it didn’t matter. What was nice is that there were very few outcasts, it felt like. I was no longer the weird nerdy one. My friends read just as much–or more–than me. Several were smarter, which was kind of a nice feeling. Even better, I found a group of friends who have been my friends for life–I have now known them more years than I’ve not known them. Continue reading “You’ve Got a Friend in Me…Have I Got a Friend in You?”
Prior to becoming pregnant, I was what you might call an admirer of beauty products. I certainly found them alluring–I could easily spend ages in Lush and Sephora poring over products, and imagining how the potions and lotions might work their magic on me. Occasionally, temptation would overcome me, and I would buy several products and bring them home. I promised myself I would begin a new beauty regimen, but mostly the products just stayed on the shelf, looking attractive and promising but going unused. I tended to favor things that were more overtly aesthetic, like clothes and makeup (what can I say, I’m a girly girl).
The same was true for spa treatments. I love going to the spa, and swear I’m going to put aside money to make massages a regular treat for my tight shoulders, but it never seems to happen. Continue reading “Pamper thyself”