Child induced sleep deprivation

I am super-affected by tiredness, it makes me drunk and suppresses that part of my brain that controls my temper leading to a full on green monster bursting forth. It’s one of the reasons I wear stretchy purple trousers. I know the signs for when I am slipping down the slope and do my best to centre my zen and stop a full blown tantrum.

There are times when I have lost control, and they are scary.

Most recently was during the first week of Feliciraptor. A lot of sleepless nights were causing all edges to become frayed and it all reached a climax at 5am one Saturday morning. Acute sleep deprivation was affecting both of us as Feliciraptor was having a lot of issues with Colic. No matter what we tried she would not sleep for long and when she was awake she would scream, and she has a pair of lungs on her (I have a feeling she will be an Opera star or a world class free diver). I have difficulty just dropping off for an hour when she did so was not getting any rest. Continue reading “Child induced sleep deprivation”

The power of touch

The Feliciraptor will grow up in a world where the most important texture is smooth glass. The touchscreen is becoming ubiquitous and will be the form factor that my child will be using to interact with the technology around her.

She will play on tablets and phones, and possibly never know that books can come in paper as well. She will be accustomed to something happening whenever she presses what looks like a screen, it will have to move as she expects or it will seem broke. Just as my generation seems to have an intuitive sense of how a computer mouse works the touch interface will just work because that’s how it works. Continue reading “The power of touch”

Maybe some other time little one

Toddlers understand only one time frame, now! They have little concept of the future until they are much older so if it is not happening right here right now then it may as well not be a thing.

As I try not to have my schedule completely dictated to by children this can course numerous ructions. The promise of doing something later in exchange for doing something else now falls on deaf ears.

Therefore managing a toddler is all about managing their time expectations, and as mentioned they have none. Continue reading “Maybe some other time little one”

Teaching a bi-dictional child

It has been said that Britain and America are separated by a common language, but this completely ignores the 3,000 miles of Atlantic Ocean that happens to be between us. That’s a testable and provable fact; I checked it out myself when I flew over it.

Me and Mrs E have discussed the education of any children in America and some of the quirks of Anglo-American conventions on language came to light. In the interests of cross-Pond special relations I made some effort to compromise with my Stateside girlfriend and agreed that any progeny could use Americanisms, I would just choose to shun and ignore them if they did. Continue reading “Teaching a bi-dictional child”

Playing with my childhood toys

Among the myriad of toys we have for The Feliciraptor is a Tina T. Spoon doll, it is one of those things I bought while still a bachelor as a form of memorabilia. Now, like Toy Story told us, the toy that was a toy but then wasn’t a toy and so wasn’t a toy is a toy again.

Every time you squeeze her belly she sings, well not so much sings but plays back one of the greatest television theme songs of all time.

Inevitably this has led to nostalgic feelings about my own childhood, the beginnings of a rose-tinted world view where I will tell The Feliciraptor that “What is this rubbish on TV? I remember watching He-Man or Bagpuss…that were reet proper tele.” Where are the shows to match the epic sweep of Mysterious Cities of Gold or Dogtanian and the Muskehounds; or the surrealism of Button Moon or The Clangers? Continue reading “Playing with my childhood toys”

I’m the favourite child

I’m the favourite child. With just four words I have made sure that my sisters, mother and other assorted relatives are already reading this. Who would do something that click-baity though?

Most parents won’t tell you they have a favourite, it would ruin the careful equilibrium of any family. You never see Kris telling Khloe that Kendall is her favourite (I need to stop reading the Daily Mail).

Now that I have two children this is a trap I need to avoid falling into. After this ‘news’ report (albeit from a publication that claims wine both prevents and causes cancer) it did make me think how the ideal of treating all my children equally is likely to fail as it is to be unfair. Continue reading “I’m the favourite child”

Whisper the baby is sleeping

In the beginning we were sleeping in separate beds because, as Mrs E says, I’m a Stradivarius of sleep. I must have everything “just so” otherwise I can’t relax. Pillows and sheets have to be in a particular way, light minimised and sound below a whisper. Anything else and I drive myself mad and prevent the ability to drop off. So when Feliciraptor was waking in the middle of the night it meant I had to start all over again.

Having a two month old baby was like having a broken alarm that was ready to go off at any point, with a 90% chance it being around 5am. In those first few weeks it was hard but every day started to get much, much, better than it was. Yet I was still at the limit of rest. Continue reading “Whisper the baby is sleeping”